things I've learned

[glaucon]

so I recently reached my 36th birthday and we are arrived at the end of this foul year of our lord, 2005. I have been very conscious of the passing time and the time passed. with that (ever) in mind, here are a few useful observations and bits of advice I've gleaned over the last couple eons:

1. never draw to an inside straight.

2. did you ever see a cat skeleton in a tree?

3. never get engaged to anyone you met while on Ecstasy.

4. nothing is too heavy to be knocked on its ass.

5. when you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

6. even a broken clock is right twice a day.
6.1 ...unless it's 10 minutes fast, in which case, it's simply never right but might still potentially be useful.
6.2 ...or unless it's digital, in which case it might simply be blank.

7. anyone who lets someone named Crazy Ellen touch their kundalini deserves anything they get.

8. you can fit an infinte amount of items into a finite amount of space by taking them out and putting them back in repeatedly.
8.1 ...but it could take a while. (thanks brett!)

9. if someone spends a lot of time telling you what assholes all their neighbors are, chances are there's only one asshole in the neighborhood.

not much to show for all that time, and yet I feel it covers most situations.

oh yeah...and

10. don't wait until less than 24 hours before the show to buy the fucking tickets.

blew it on the sleater-kinney/quasi show last night. symphony seems sold out too. going to try to go through one of those professional scalper places. tix still available for campervancracker though.

Comments

[glaucon.livejournal.com]

thanks! and you too you too, oh mighty sagittarian.